Effective Negotiation is about the “Why”
As I continue the journey to learn more about Effective Negotiation I’ve been learning about interests (versus positions) and how they are pivotal to negotiating win-win solutions.
Some of the concepts in this article are based on the “Getting To Yes” book and I highly recommend reading it to learn more.
Classic Movie Negotiation
The clean cut suit wearing gentleman writes a note on a piece of paper, puts it face down, and slides it across the table. He says, “This is what we are offering”. A classic movie scene and maybe similar when two people “haggle” back and forth about a solution. There is a more effective approach and its focusing on the “Why” (i.e. the interests), not the positions (i.e. solutions)
The window problem
John is sitting in a library room and opens the window. Sue sitting close by, comes by and closes the window. John and Sue look at each other and John says I’d like the window open, Sue says she wants it closed. Dave, the librarian comes over and notices this disagreement. He asks John, why do you want the window open, he says, its hot in here and wanted to cool it down. Dave asks Sue “why do you want the window open?”. She says the draftiness bothers her. Dave offers to open the window in the other room so it cools down and Sue will not feel a draft. Sue and John agree this is a great solution.
Notice that John and Sue were focused on positions (i.e. solutions to their interests) while Dave was focused on their interests (i.e. why they had those positions). By exploring the Why, we can find solutions where both parties get what they want.
Interests
Interests are about the needs, desires, concerns, and fears. The Position about paying a certain amount of money comes from the interests. As with the window example where there is no solution if we just looked at the positions, focusing on the interests reveal many possible solutions.
We assume since the other party’s positions are opposed to ours (window open or closed), their interests (being comfortable) are also opposed to us . This is usually not true.
Same Interests are helpful
Landlords and tenants may have a position that the rent is too high and the landlord may think it has not been raised in a long time. Both however have shared interests.
1 Stability – Landlord wants stable rent, tenant wants a stable address.
2 Well maintained – Tenant wants a nice place to live, landlord wants to increase value of apartment and attract good tenants.
3 Good relationship – Landlord wants tenant that pays rent on time and is good with other tenants/neighbors, tenant would like a responsive landlord to cary out necessary repairs
Different interests are also helpful
A Shoe seller may be more interested in $50 than a pair of shoes. You may be more interested in the pair of shoes than $50. This difference of interests allows the shoe seller to sell you the shoes and you to buy them.
Same is true for stock. The seller thinks the stock will go down (their interest is to sell to lock in what they have), the buyer thinks it will go up (their interest is to make a profit).
These differences in interests allow for a successful negotiation as well.
How do you identify interests?
Figuring out their interests and yours will be important to a negotiation. How do we do that?
Ask Why?
Why does my landlord want a 5 year lease. The answer you may arrive at is that he wants stability which would be his interest. You can also ask the landlord directly why they want something like “What’s your concern with wanting the lease to be 5 years?”
Ask Why Not?
Ask yourself why the other side has not asked for something you would have. I.e. try to understand the other sides’ perceived choice.
Who’s decision do I want to affect? What decision does the other party think you want them to make. If you don’t know what this decision is, then they may not either.
Once you recognize the decision you’d like them to make, think about the consequences for them. Will they loose or gain political support? Will their colleagues support them? What will be the short term and long term consequences? Economic, legal, psychological, military consequences. Is it in line with their principals?
Basic Human Needs
If you focus on the basic human needs of people, you will find most interests. Basic human needs are security, economic well being, sense of belonging, recognition, control over one’s life.
These items are easily over looked. Sometimes we believe a negotiation is over money, but in actuality the other party wants recognition and sense of belonging more than money.
When I look back at why I have taken most jobs, money was not the first interest. Doing something that was fun, being needed, belonging to a great group of people was often more important than money.
Make a list
Make a list of the interests that you discover as you think and discuss something with the other party. You will want to refer to these interest to help you come up with proposals/solutions.
Discuss your interests
Discuss what is important to you and seek to understand what is important to the other party. When you understand the interests of both sides, you will be able to come up with proposals that will work for both sides and meet similar and different interests at the same time.
We will delve more into how to bring out interests and communicate what is really important in our next blog article.
If you liked this article and would like to be notified when future ones are published, subscribe to our mailing list.
